dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he puts the penis in happiness.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
