woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
