I feel like abortions should bother me more
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
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either way he was missing a nipple.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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