Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You pole danced in your parka.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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