marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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