I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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