I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
