I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize