okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
