I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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