I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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