We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
