Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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