oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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