Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
