are you so shy because you have an std?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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