when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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