nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
