Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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