first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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