She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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