Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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