Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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