ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
