why didn't you poke me back
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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