Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
