i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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