You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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