New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
