The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
