i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize