I puked a lego.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
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She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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