return my video game
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
