there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
