Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
