we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
