have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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