and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
