you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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