My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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