And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
