guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
