it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
