Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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