I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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