dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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