And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize