she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
