The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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