I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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