I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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