I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
