all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
