how can u be prego again
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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