i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
