The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize