the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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