New low: just hacked my moms facebook
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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