I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
