he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
