i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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