I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My cat gives me a boner
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Even my vagina gasped.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
