im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
