I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
