he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
